std_conflict_resolution

As you go through the "Rising Action" of achieving your goal, you WILL experience conflict between at least two or more of your troupe members. The question is not how to avoid this conflict, but how to deal with it constructively.

There are two types of Conflict:

Internal - person against self
External - person against person

I. Harmful ways of dealing with conflict:

1. FIGHTING (physically fighting,gossiping, arguing, blaming, excusing, defending, bragging, lecturing, etc.)

2. RUNNING (physically running,crying, pitying, attacking oneself, becoming silent, etc.)

3. IGNORING ("intellectualizing"remaining apathetic, acting unaffected, etc.)

II. These methods do us great long-term damage.

We develop a lifestyle built around one of them.

We give the methods control of our lives.

We fail to solve the real problem

We fail to control our feelings.

We fail to grow.

III. Ways for you as a leader to respond in conflict situations.

Clarify what is being said

Add your own ideas

Offer support or encouragement

Challenge others - helpful if with kindness and genuine concern. Challenge the idea - not the person. Use "I" messages.

Mediate - look for points of agreement, possible compromises, solutions others may not have considered.

Make decisions, take action.

To effectively resolve conflict you must know how to LISTEN and give CONSTRUCTIVE FEEDBACK.

Ten commandments of Good Listening

10. STOP TALKING

You cannot listen if you are talking.

9. PUT THE TALKER AT EASE

Help him/her feel that he/she is free to talk.

8. SHOW HIM/HER THAT YOU WANT TO LISTEN

Look and act interested. Listen and understand, rather than reply.

7. REMOVE DISTRACTIONS

Don’t doodle, tap, shuffle papers, etc.

6. EMPATHIZE WITH HIM/HER

Try to put yourself in his/her place and see it from his/her point of view.

5. BE PATIENT

Allow plenty of time.

4. HOLD YOUR TEMPER

"He who angers you conquers you."

3. GO EASY ON ARGUMENT AND CRITICISM

This puts the person on the defensive.

2. ASK QUESTIONS

This is encouraging to the speaker and shows you are listening.

1. STOP TALKING

First and last, because all other depend upon it.

Guidelines for Constructive Feedback

Acknowledge the need for feedback.
Give both POSITIVE and NEGATIVE feedback.
Understand the context
Know how and when to give feedback:
1. - be descriptive
2. - don’t use labels, exaggerate or judge.
3. - speak for yourself
4. - talk first about yourself, not the person.
5. - restrict feedback to what you know for certain.

Know how to receive feedback

- Breathe
- listen carefully
- ask for clarity
- acknowledge the feedback
- acknowledge valid points
- take time to think about it.